Friday, April 3, 2026

Pop

Pop has joined Mummy. He lived past 90 - I think that will tickle him - that he crossed that landmark. My sister looked up his phone diary yesterday - under B, he had "Beer" with a list of his favorites - Kingfisher, Modelo, Carona. He enjoyed the good times and there were a lot of good times. 

Pop knew how to stay in the present - for 5 years, he along with my sister, Jagu, stood by my mother as she fought Parkinson's disease. He rarely complained. After my mother passed away, for the next 5 years he continued to enjoy life as he travelled between the houses of us 3 siblings - myself, Viku and Jagu. He adjusted to three very different households - never once comparing us or complaining. 

Growing up he taught us by example - what was wrong and what was right - and to stand up for what was right. He was born before India gained independence - and to his generation, freedom meant something and life was meant to be lived by Gandhian values - with integrity and simplicity. He never failed to protest when faced with corruption - whether it was someone illegally trying to charge him for parking or when we went to get our British visas renewed in India. He took me to the textile factories that he worked at - massive operations with huge machines and 1000s of employees - that was his world and he took great pride in his expertise. I have tried to keep some of the fearlessness that he had at his work into my corporate life - where work is about making the right business and technical decisions - not caving into politics or what's easy. On top of all this, he taught me how to run real fast, when he came after me with a jhaddu or velan. 

He loved the village where he grew up - Jalalpore - and made multiple visits every year to see his cousins, who loved him back. He compared Jalalpore with Switzerland. I am not sure how the fine folks in Switzerland feel about that.

Pop and Mom had a wonderful relationship. My favorite memory is of them coming back to our room from a Vegas casino - and counting their winnings in coins - when Vegas had coins. On one of our trips, I was driving, Mom was in the passenger seat and Pop in the back sleeping. I realized that we were about to run out of gas and told my Mom. Without having to say it, we agreed that the information should not be passed on to Pop - to avoid panic - and that said a lot about their relationship - Mom - the cool one - setting the strategy. Pop all about the execution.

I spent more time with him once he moved to the US - he took  an interest in our lives, making himself useful, organizing our paperwork and files, coming grocery shopping. He enjoyed spending time with his grandchildren. He was up for adventures - we went on an RV trip - just me and him - enjoying the California coastline and wine country. He knew how to throw up his legs and relax. He enjoyed reading information signs at tourist spots - every one of them - no amount of nagging from my Mom would deter him - on to the next sign he went.

My Dad was a simple man -  he focused on the basics - staying organized, double and triple checking work, looking at the details - by teaching us to focus on the basics he taught us to manage complexity. 

I loved calling him Pop - I loved how if you missed some good work he had done, he would make sure you noticed and acknowledged - I loved how he was so social and called a dozen friends and family every single day - if you got those phone calls, you know who you are  - I loved how he was always ready to engage - I loved how he loved life. And I know that those of you here who knew him and on the Zoom loved him too.